Martial Arts With a Side of Chihuahuas

So I got a pair of nunchakus (nunchucks) the other day. I don't really know why, I've just always wanted some. Most people stat out with foam-coated ones, but I skipped straight ahead to wood. They were pretty much the same price and I didn't see the sense in eventually outgrowing one set and having to buy another. Plus, getting hit repeatedly with wooden nunchakus on the elbows, knees and fingers only encourages me to strengthen my skills.

I also got a book an krav maga, the Israeli martial arts. It's pretty cool, and cheaper than paying for kung fu classes... but I'd like to do that one day, too.
I was practicing this move where, if someone punches at your head, you duck to the side and punch them in the ribs. My fiance was over when I was doing this. I was conditioning my mind to react this certain way and going over and over this one move and I wanted to show her, so I told her to punch at my head, and before I had even closed my mouth her fist was like lightning, striking at my head. She was a bit more aggressive than I expected, forcing my mind to act in the way I had just mentally conditioned it to. The move worked great and when she regained her breath, she was anxious to move on to the section on groin attacks. We decided we would not practice together again.

Last week my mom and I were watching tv and there was a commercial for corn dogs and I was telling her how I kinda missed eating them. They're not the greatest food in the world, but a solid treat every once in a while. I was telling her how the stick that runs down the inside of them is a huge deterrent for me. I don't enjoy fighting with the stick to get the last bits of food off of it. Some people enjoy it, I just don't. I mentioned how I wanted to invent corndogs with no sticks; boneless, I call them. So, the next day my mom went to the grocery store, and when she got back she brought up the topic again and told me that she found them! With a mixture of jealousy (because I thought I was on to something new, and if only I had the chance that this corporate snob had, I could have made millions) and excitement (because they were feakin' boneless corndogs!!) I ripped open the package only to find, to my disappointment, that they were mini corndogs; corndog nuggets; corn-chihuahuas; breaded beanie-weenies!! How could you make them with a stick? That would be rediculous! Sure they packed the same great corndog taste in a smaller, stickless package, but still. I was not impressed with the invention.
I was distraught as I ate them. I felt let down. I may not be able to enjoy full-sized stickless corndogs yet, but that only means that there is still room for my invention. I'll see you at the top, corporate corndog-makers!