Every once in a while I start to believe He's not there, and I think He isn't helping me build my faith by not answering my prayers.
It's not like I'm praying for a new fancy car or other 'things', I'm praying for a change in my heart that I cannot do myself. It has to be Him.
Maybe I'm like that student in class that the teacher tells he can do better. Not that I'm better than anyone, please don't take that out of context. But God made me with a thinking, pondering, analytical mind (though I overdo it alot) and He wants me to think, ponder, and analyze... to an extent. He wants me to figure it out because He knows that I'll oly be truly happy and healed if I can figure it out. So, I must be praying not for miraculous mental healing or a huge mental change, but for mental enlightenment. I must be able to look at the situation and the solution and say, "...and that is why I believe." And I know that God designed me that way. Because I know that once I have that, nothing can ever take it away from me.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
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1 comments:
i just want to start by saying that that is one of the biggest, hardest to pronounce words i have ever seen outside of a science text book. i'd like to follow that by saying that the hardest part, at least in my opinion, of being a christian is that GOD's clock isn't set like ours. fortunately, though, HE promises to give us what we need, and even some of the stuff that we want. i guess what i'm trying to say is keep asking and seeking and waiting. and when you receive your enlightenment if you dont share i'll be much angered
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