Confusion, Confidence, Failure, and Faith

Well, it's taken me 5 weeks to get completely confused and over analytical about my beliefs. Tonight is the last night of the class, my exam, and I am... 'seeking new opportunities.'
I had forgotten about a seminary I want to go to really badly, but i put it off because I didn't want to get a B.A., but such is not the case now. After the B.A. comes seminary, and then I can do whatever I want. The frustrating thing is that since I need a job to pay my bills, I cannot go to school full time. So what should take me 4 years will probably take more like 8. THEN seminary, another 2 I think, will take 4. 12 years... holy crap... that doesn't sound fun, and that's why it's never been an option. Well, that and money. Money sucks... but that's for another blog...
So, this is my newest, and most promising option. Not TOO excited about it, but oh well. I just know that i want to help kids. I want to teach kids about God and His relation to the world. I want to do it through film, writing, sci-fi, fantasy, story telling, an any other kind of artistic mediums that kids (and God) find interesting. If I continue to sit back and complain about money, time, and energy, then all that will happen is I will get so pissed off so often that I will just continue to sit here and do nothing, and THAT will piss me off, and then the circle will begin again. I don't want that. Heck, maybe God will even give me a job while I'm going to school. But I can only do what I can do. I have to do what I believe God is leading me to. In moments of silence I have to continue on the last known path.

'But you have recieved the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don't need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you all things, and what he teaches is true- it is not a lie. So continue in what he has taught you, and continue to live in Christ.' 1 John 2:27

Not to say I don't need anyone to teach me anything, but I can't let people make decisions for me, and I have to 'continue in what he has taught' me, and do the best I can.
So, I am learning to have confidence in my decisions, and to trust myself to whatever extent I am supposed to, but not more that God. There will be failures, but I don't believe failure always means you did anything wrong. Sometimes it just means you're in the wrong place.
K, bye.

Robulous