Brutally Honest

I don't like praying. I guess I just don't know how to react to God, or listen to Him, how to let Him talk to me or use me. All I know how to do is think, and be brutally honest with Him.
That's when I feel closest to Him; when I'm being brutally honest. When I tell Him I'm pissed off, or scared, or when I don't unerstand, or when I'm unfulfilled. But to what extent should I embrace that? I hate that I put Him through this stuff all the time, but then again, He's the one that made me this way, made my mind work the way it does. Therefore, maybe it goes back to a thought I had recently. He made me this way because He wants me to be this way, because He enjoys interacting with me this way.
The only way I know how to be is the way I am... and I'm sorry, but I'm going to continue to be that way until I change (deep, huh?). Of course, I'm striving for better things, to better my life and outlook on life and God and others, but still all I can be is who I am, who He made me to be.